Boost the love and respect of all your relationships!

Are there some relationships in your life that just take more work to maintain than you're enjoying? Do you find yourself wanting to be compassionate and be able to listen in a caring way but it's just not supporting you and the kind of life you want to have? We agree that nurturing love and respect is an all-important task in creating healthy family relationships or any relationships for that matter. But what happens when one party isn’t cooperating? How is it possible to get along and create a healthy relationship when one person refuses to, or for some reason can’t, put forth the effort to cooperate in the process? How do you create love and respect in a relationship when the other person isn't supporting the process? If you're like most people, you care a great deal about the people you're in some kind of relationship with. You might want to be compassionate and be able to listen to them in a caring way, but it might seem like the other person isn't trying to help the situation or that they're being negative or interacting in less than productive ways. Does any of this sound familiar? If so you're probably feeling confused, frustrated, and perhaps even guilty about not being able to be nicer to this person you care about.
We believe these feelings come from misunderstanding the true meanings of compassion and caring or visit www.101-happy-relationships.com here’s what we mean: in many people's minds empathy and compassion are often associated with self-sacrifice or selflessness.
People think that if you are a compassionate person you ALWAYS behave compassionately and are able to listen caringly – no matter how you feel. This can be especially difficult when embroiled in a relationship that is creating hurt feelings and other kinds of emotional pain. The notion that one should be selfless and just sacrifice their feelings for the sake of getting along is far from the truth as we see it. Most people want to cultivate compassion and learn empathic listening to enhance their relationships, to create closeness and understanding. This can only happen when you actually want to do this, when empathizing with the other person is the most wonderful thing you can imagine doing in that moment. Also, empathy is not just something we offer other people. We find that many people don't understand how to use self-empathy – listening caringly to you. Yet it's a vital ingredient in learning to understand yourself in order to stay true to what's most important to you. And these are essential building blocks for creating closeness and understanding with others. If you attempt to listen empathically to another person when you would much rather be doing something else, two things are likely to happen. First, you'll probably feel resentment and become judgmental about that person and their behavior or go to www.tour-guide.com This happens because you're not being honest with yourself; you'd rather be doing something else but because of some idea that you should listen
Compassionately to this person no matter what, you go against your own desires. When this happens, it is easy to begin blaming them for the lack of happiness you feel with thoughts such as, if they would only ... stop complaining, think positively, get a different job, stop being so negative, get some friends ... or any number of other ideas you believe would help the relationship. Second, whenever you listen to someone with these kinds of negative thoughts running around in your head, they are sure to detect the resentment and judgmental attitude sooner or later. This will create just the opposite of the understanding and closeness you hope for and will continue to tear down any hope of a healthy, happy relationship. In dealing with a situation like this start by giving yourself permission NOT to empathize, not to just throw your emotional pain out the window in the spirit of self sacrifice. Be honest with yourself about how you feel and what's most important to you in each moment. Never attempt to be empathetic unless it's the most wonderful thing you can imagine doing in that moment. We suggest you start using your emotions as your guide in knowing when to empathize and when to step away. Being true to what would give you joy in the moment is one of the most important first steps you can take not only to get along, but to create the closeness and understanding you want. When you begin to be more honest with yourself about how you are and what you want, it's easier to accept others as they are.

Article Source: http://articleboard.findabook.com

www.101-happy-relationships.com www.tour-guide.com

Please Rate this Article

5 out of 54 out of 53 out of 52 out of 51 out of 5 

Not yet Rated